Inner Demons

We all have our Demons, but what happens when they take hold? What then?

I awoke this June afternoon to my parents’ dog bouncing on my bed. It of course was a rude awakening; however, I did not mind. Nothing could stop me from smiling. I had just graduated college, I had bought myself an apartment, and my friends and I are all meeting back up tonight. I dreamed for so long, the time where we would all regroup after being apart due to our colleges being so far apart.

First there was Bryan, the heart and joy of our group. His would always make light of bad situations. He was always there for me, either to cheer me up when my boyfriend and I took a break from each other, or make me laugh with his goofy expressions plastered on his pale, blonde head covered in freckles and dimples. He had gone to Cornell and his parents moved from our quaint town in New Jersey, all the way to Rochester, Minnesota.

Next there was David, the curious and idiotic member of our group. He was the type of person that will try his hardest to force a reaction out of you. Curiosity and a devilish grin never leaving his tan face. I can say without any shadow of a doubt that he was always looking either for trouble, danger, or a way to look tough in front of us. He once decided that it was a good idea to skateboard through the park in order to make the geese fly away. Fortunately for him, the geese did in fact fly away, and the only trouble they gave him was a ruined t-shirt covered in geese crap. He went to Arizona State.

Another thing about David was he disliked both authority and our town with a passion. This meant that each time he came home, he would sneak out without telling anyone, and sleep at his cousins house about three towns away.

After him there was Derek, our group’s attractive pack leader, and I’m not just saying that because he’s my boyfriend. His dark hair and light blue eyes would win the approval of any girl. We’ve been on and off for a few years now, and it got especially hard when I was away at High Point and he was in California. Let me tell you, it’s not easy to keep up a long distance relationship across an entire continent. But ever since his parents, like Bryan’s moved to Minnesota, our on-and-off thing is now very much on.

Finally, there was me, Sarah Jones, the woman who provided structure and stability to the group while we were in high school. I was the one tasked with making sure David did not get himself killed or arrested. The one who got us out of dangerous situations before they could get worse.

I could not wait another second in bed, I ran into my bathroom. Geno, the two year old beagle he was, tried to keep up and follow me in; however, I was too quick for him. In the bathroom, I picked out just what I needed to get ready for a night full of happiness. Eventually, I ran downstairs to make something to eat. When I entered the kitchen, my seven year old brother Cameron was just finishing up his lunch. His head a ball of sunshine as always smiled and spoke an enthusiastic “Good Mor-Afternoon!” I chuckled at his innocence and as I was making myself homemade pizza.

I asked “Hey where is Mom and Dad?” He took a while to answer but eventually said in a sad voice “Looking at your new home.” He then walked over to hug me and continued “You’re not really leaving are you?” I smiled, got down to his level and replied “I’m afraid I am. I just can’t live here at home forever. Don’t worry though, I am not leaving for another weeks, and my apartment is only like fifty minutes away so I will make sure to visit every chance I get.”

He wiped his face and replied “Promise?”

I hugged him tightly and said “Promise.”

An hour passed and I had received a group text stating that we will be meeting at the reservation at 8:00. I rolled my eyes, largely due to the fact that the hiking trail (or what they called the reservation) was the spot where we would always meet up, get high, and then leave to grab some food. I guess some things never change.

I was heading to my room to sift through my mess of a closet in search of a hoodie because it was getting surprisingly cold this summer at night, that was until I heard my Dad say “Sarah.” As I jumped back down the stairs I yelled “Yeah!” In response.

I looked around the house and found him and Mom in the basement. They were sitting on the couch and told me to sit down. I was nervous and immediately asked “What did I do?” My mom told me “You didn’t do anything wrong, we just wanted to express how proud we are of you and that we love your apartment!” Dad took off his reading glasses and wiped them with the bottom of his shirt and continued, “The only thing is that although your apartment is good, the neighborhood around it is not the safest so your mother and I bought you this.” He extended his hand to reveal a can of pepper spray.

She chuckled and said “Couldn’t you have gotten one in purple?” We all laughed and went upstairs. I told them my plans for the night and they looked at each other and my Dad said “Okay.” In a strange low voice that had a hint of concern. He then shuttered “J-Just make sure you stay out of trouble and get back at a reasonable time.”

Some time passed and I got a text message from Derek stating that they are on there way to my house. I snatched a black hoodie with a goat's face on it which I had received from a concert and left my room. Before I had reached the stairs, my brother stood in front of me. He told me “I heard Mom and Dad talking about your plans for tonight. They said that they do not trust them and that you should not go out with them tonight.” I patted him on the head and told him “We are just going to hang out, don’t worry Cameron, I promise that nothing bad will happen.” He had a huge smile and said “Okay. Have fun.” I heard a car pull up in front of our house and ran down the stairs and yelled a “See you guys in the morning” to my parents who were approaching me.

I jumped into the Back of his black Mustang convertible and we peeled out of there. I asked Derek and Bryan how the drive was from Rochester to which Derek replied “It was a bumpy and long seventeen hours but we are here now.” This answer confused me, Derek’s answer was almost robotic and without emotion. Also, he did not seem to excited to see me; however, I chock it up to him being tired.

As we turned off the street, I made conversation with Bryan. He seemed happy to see me and asked me how life has been. I tell him and he is honestly thrilled to hear how I was doing. I then asked are we picking up David to which Derek replied “He couldn’t wait so he left early to set everything up.”

Right when he said that I got goosebumps and I felt a pit in my stomach.

“Uh, what do you mean setting everything up, we are going to the reservation aren't we?” I nervously asked. I could see a cringy ear to ear smile developing on Derek’s face in the rear-view mirror.

“Yeah we’re going to the reservation for a fun time.” He spoke with confidence, mockery, and malice which unnerved me beyond a reasonable doubt. I was shivering and Bryan raised his voice “Dude, seriously what the Hell is wrong with you?! You are scaring Sarah and are being so secretive! Before we left all you could talk about was her and your being so distant!”

I was shocked because I never heard him lose his temper before. At this Derek pulled to a dirt patch on the side of the road, hit the breaks and turned to face Bryan. “Look, she is my girlfriend so quit trying to win her over Bryan! Do us all a favor and keep your opinions to yourself!” I was fighting the urge to slap Derek across the face. Bryan was right, Derek was being distant, secretive, and scary, all of which are not his usual traits. Something was definitely not right.

We eventually arrived at the reservation. The gates leading into the reservation were closed so we parked the car in front of them. Derek then popped the trunk open revealing black bags, a helmet, and a board. The board had four protrusions coming out it’s sides which led to the center. The helmet had a strange skull-like design which was all red and the eyes were fiery red. I tried to reassure myself that we were trying a new activity for when we get high. Derek placed the helmet on and he then told us to carry the bags and the board with us. We began to walk when I felt a mosquito bite me. The bite felt weird though, sure it stung like a normal mosquito bite; however, it also felt similar to how a shot feels like when a doctor administers a vaccine into your arm. Nevertheless, I swatted at my neck but missed.

I then hear Bryan hit his arm saying “Freaking mosquitoes!” Derek then commented in a whisper muffled by the helmet yet still audible “Ever hear of bug spray?”

We soon arrive at the spot where David was supposed to be but he wasn't there, and I am liking the situation less and less. Where we had arrived, there were candles placed in a circle, four stumps surrounding the inside of the circle, and another layer of candles making an outline of a square. I said “Nope!” and tried to get the hell out of dodge; however, David jumped out from the shadows right at me causing me to lose my balance and fall backwards. “You can’t leave just yet Sarah, the fun has just begun!” David said, smiling derangedly. I yell in fear `“I thought we were just going to get high and chat like we used to do!” I yell in fear, “I don’t want to be apart of your satanic ritual!”

I heard Derek chuckle in amusement to this and soon he took off his helmet. Once it was off, I could see the eyes that I fell in love with illuminated by the candlelight. He then smiled, not a scary one, no, a smile as if he just pulled the joke of the century. He put his hand to his head and said “I really had you scared didn’t I Sarah.” David joined in the laughter and I yelled out “What the hell is your problem, you nearly gave me a heart attack with your satanic cult j-joke!”

Soon, I saw that Bryan extended his arm to help me up; however, I swatted it away and got up on my own. I gave the three of them a thousand yard stare indicating that it was not funny. I gathered myself and asked “Bryan, what was the point in doing all of this?”

“Personally, I was against this plan Derek, you know how he is, he convinced us to perform this ritual and leave you in the dark. You see, well, he got into some messed up stuff while in college, and his friends performed this ritual that was supposed to grant people passage into adulthood. He thought that we should also do it. And eventually we all agreed thinking it will be fun.” I roll my eyes and half joked “You would think an adult would be more mature.” David laughed at this and everything went silent.

I interrupted this silence by saying, “Well, you already went through all the trouble of scaring me half to death, so let's get this ritual over with.” David, giddy with excitement replied “I thought you would never ask.” He then grabbed the square board that I dropped and placed it in the square outline. Derek then took out a paper from his breast coat pocket and said. “All right, David grab the black bag with the blue one on the back.” David did just that and Derek continued. “Open it up and pour it onto the center of the board.” I saw a liquid pour out of the bag, I think it was water. “Sarah, would you please grab the black bag with the green two on it and repeat the process?”

I did just that and this black and brown substance came out of the bag in clumps. Derek then said “Now Bryan-” but was cut off by Bryan saying in an annoyed tone “yeah yeah take the last bag marked with a brown three and dump it in the center.”

He tear the bag open and places a flat solid brown object onto the board. Derek then speaks up “Okay, now only one ingredient is needed”, he then goes into his pocket and pulls out a pocket knife and points it at me. “The blood of a transitioning young adult.” I yell “No way in hell!” Annoyed, he says “Come on Sarah, we only need a drop.”

I try to get out of the circle but I was too late, he grabbed my arm. He then held me close and said “I am sorry. I am sorry for scaring you. I am sorry for acting like a jerk. And, I am sorry for asking you of this.” I knew he was not lying, his voice had no doubt, there was only honesty. I was about to forgive him when I felt a cold sensation on my palm, followed by a something warm and wet. I looked down to see blood dripping from my palm.

“What the hell Derek!?” I screamed, but before I could pull away, he grabbed my arm and pressed it onto the edge of the board. He then spoke again. “Okay, everyone place your arms on the edges of the board and place your hands in the center while I add the blood.” His arm and his grip are the only reason why I did not leave. I mutter to him “I hate you.” But he ignores me and says “With water, soil, bark, and blood. We have the symbols of birth, growth, age and death. Spirits, we beseech thee, allow passage to become complete.”

Nothing happens and we leave the circle. I told Derek that it was over between him and I and I start to leave. I take my phone from my pocket and see that it is 9:29. I am checking my battery life and it is at 58%. Then, as I continue walking, the clock says 9:30 and my phone goes black.

“Dang!” I yell and ask Bryan if I can borrow his phone and his phone shuts down as well. I then start to feel woozy, the ground then felt as it was shaking. I then realized it was shaking and ask what the hell was happening. Derek actually frightened yells “Earthquake!” “That’s impossible, we are not in a seismic zone!” Bryan says to which David retorts by saying “Nerd!”

A black mist then begins to arise from the board, it envelops us and causes the candles to go out. The black mist then spirals upwards and splits into four separate human-like shadows. They pierce through each of our chests and it hurts. It is like an internal sucker punch. We all in unison clench our stomachs and then things got worse, the smoke begins exiting our bodies like we were on fire and soon we began sinking. It was as if we were in quicksand. I don’t know how but I got back up; however, they were still sinking, each of them were soon swallowed up and their shrieks pierced the air like a knife.

The shadows then disappeared and everything returned to as it was right before the ground began shaking. I try to catch my breath from what I just saw when I saw, then something came into my head, the word prank. I was angry and yelled “Okay guys you got me again, you can come out now. Guys. Okay guys, this is not funny. Okay I’m leaving. Goodbye. Nice effects by the way, you really got me going.”

The entire way back to the gates I was expecting them to jump out at me but they don’t. I got to the gate and I began to run home. After awhile I arrived back home at about 10:23 and got ready for bed.

Amidst my dreams, I saw moments of my life flash before my eyes. My first day of preschool, my teachers ridiculing me for having ADHD in middle school, first meeting Derek, my discovery of my digital arts talent in high school, and my college graduation. Once I threw my graduation gap, time slowed down and I realized I was in a dream.

Once I was fully lucid, everything went black, I was just floating in an empty space until I saw a dim light. I floated towards it and I was flung into the forest with my friends right as the earthquake happened. I tried to tell them to quit it; however, I was not in control of my body. Next thing I know, they were sinking again. Without the lack of surprise this time, I came to a frightening realization, it wasn’t fake. It couldn’t have been.

When I learned that what happened was actually real and my friends were dead, I could not breath, it was as if I was being strangled. I began sinking again and this time I heard what was supposed to be my fate, eternal, agonizing silence. I then began to cry and closed my eyes. I then felt a hand on my shoulder and when I opened my eyes, I was above ground. Before I turned, I heard whatever had it’s hand on me say in all my friends’ voices “You Were Lucky” This echoed for ten seconds and I finally turned. It was a gigantic creature made entirely of black. I was frozen on the spot, I was vulnerable and I knew that it was not friendly. It then picked my up by the neck and began shrieking deafening screams. It then stabbed its entire arm through me and that was when I woke up.

I did not know I was screaming until my dad swung my bedroom door open with complete worry plastered on his face. He was holding a bat and nervously said “What’s wrong!”

Me still shaken up by my realization, had to think quick and I shivered “Uh, a nightmare.” Hoping that he does not question it.

He breathes a sigh of relief and says “Don’t scare me like that, I thought there was an intruder in your room. Just try to go back to sleep. Okay Sarah.” He then shuts my door.

I looked at my clock revealing it was 4:00. My eyes were tearing up after my realization and I just lost it. Eventually, after crying in silence, my body became heavy and I instinctively lied back down on my mattress. Once my back touched my sheets, a sharp pain erupted from the center of my back. I then felt a wet sensation running down my back. I placed my hand underneath my back and was hoping that I had just been sweating. I rubbed my hands on my sheets which were definitely damp and then I glanced at my palm. In the slight visibility in my room left by the clock on my nightstand, I saw scarlet envelop my hand.

I ran into my bathroom and the wet substance covering my palm, it was blood. I then feel more flowing down my back as I was standing. I slowly turned around half expecting there to be a demonic, bloody scratch covering my back; however, that was not the case. What I saw were two talon-like protrusions sticking out of the center of my upper back, next to my scapula. The blood was originating from there. I was thinking for a logical explanation and the protrusions being splinters became the most reassuring explanation.

I then decided to try to pull them out.

With my back and my head facing the mirror, I crossed my arms across my back to pull the two objects out of my back. Two giant wings began to just burst out of my back. I tried to scream from the pain, but the pain I was feeling mixed with the intense and overwhelming sensation of pure terror prevented any noise besides a wince from leaving my mouth. Blood was plastered all throughout my small bathroom and I just collapsed onto the floor. I began to cry into my hands; however, as I did, an intense heat began to erupt from my hands, I looked down and a small bluish flame was being emitted from my palms as if they were a stovetop. I bursted into tears and managed to whisper out “What’s happening to me?”

I estimate that I was sitting in that corner stuck in the fetal position for about an hour before my eyes felt numb and heavy from all the tears shed. I began to wipe the dried up tears from my face and calm down when those wings folded back inside my own back. I placed my hand on my back again to feel if anymore blood was leaking from my back. I didn’t feel anything wet coming from that area; however, I felt two thin objects on the center of my back. I would describe them as having the texture of bark but smoothened. As soon as I had felt them, my wings unfurled again. This time, there was no blood and I was no longer afraid by the fact that I grew demonic wings. I felt content and they folded back into my back. I turned and saw the two lines going down my back and also determined that making scapula wings caused the actual wings to unfurl and that calming emotions were probably what cause them to fold back into my back. I do not know how I was calm enough to come to that realization or even not be terrified by my own reflection. I guess shock may have played a role. I was uneasy by the fact I was not trembling but a few thoughts came into my head which distracted me from that unease.

“How am I going to explain this to my parents?”, “How am I going to clean up all of this blood?”, and “Why me?” I grabbed a few towels, ran them under the faucet, and scrubbed, hard. I was in there for a while cleaning all that blood, I was honestly surprised that the walls were not stained by the blood or water when I was finished, and that the paint didn’t smudge or peel. Once finished, I used three air fresheners in attempts to remove the smell the walls now gave off. They smelled of iron but I was surprisingly not as grossed out as I would have liked or expected.

After the odor was mostly masked, I decided that I needed to take a shower to remove the dried blood from my back and so that I could relax my body from all the erratic thoughts cluttering up my mind. I turned on the shower and the first thing I felt was the rush of ice cold water. Immediately I noticed steam rising from my body as I was turning the knob slowly to hot. I was then surrounded by mist and the water was not even on full hot yet. It honestly felt like I was being boiled alive in a sauna. I then remembered the fires erupting from my hands and realized that my body heat was intensifying rapidly which was boiling the water into steam essentially cooking me alive. I felt all the pain I was feeling internally begin to channel itself through the fires building up from my body. The next thing I know, all of the pain I felt, it just left my system. When it did, the flames died down and the mist dispersed.

Soon, I exited the shower and looked into the fogged up mirror and my eyes caught my attention. Even though I could barely see out of that mirror, my eyes felt different. I decided to glide my hand across the mirror and I saw it, my eyes, they were not brown but golden yellow. This change I actually felt content with; however, they soon reverted back to brown.

I dried myself off and went back into my room wanting to go back to sleep; however, light was bleeding through my blinds and I instinctively hissed for comedic effect, it was a habit I had as a child. I then saw that it was 9:22 in the morning. "I was in there for a long while.” I thought, half joking. I got dressed and I was about to open my door and walk downstairs. That was until I thought of what would happen if my parents found out about my newly acquired abilities. Those thoughts were not pretty, which is why I decided that no one can know of my condition, ever; however, to accomplish this, I must learn to control my powers so that I do not accidentally reveal them around others.

I sit down on my bed and try to concentrate on how to find a way to control, understand and learn about my powers. the idea of the reservation was out of the question during the day. Everywhere else I thought of, people would easily see me, then it hit me. Most of our town, on the sides of the roads, there are drops that lead to areas beneath the streets essentially making our town a giant bridge. That meant that I just had to travel beneath the roads, and practice in the shadows underneath everyone. My excuse for going there came to me fairly quickly. If mom or dad want to know what I am doing, I’ll just tell them that I am exploring town for new inspiration on a project I am working on.

I then hear a knock on my door. “Come in” I say. The door opens and my mom walks in. She sits down on my bed next to me and says “Sarah, what did you and your friends do last night?” My heart begins to beat out of my chest, I could not have heard her correctly. I feel my arms heat up and as I start controlling my breathing to alleviate any feeling of me knowing something the heat dies down. “Why do you ask? I question nervously. “It’s David, his parents are worried sick because they had not seen him since yesterday.” She responds. I breathe a sigh of relief as I know the perfect lie to get me out of this predicament. “You had me worried that I was in trouble mom. David probably ran to his cousins like always.” I explain. “His parents already rang them up and they hadn’t seen him, they’re worried sick and since you and your friends were hanging out last night, maybe you would know where he went.” She countered. Oh no, I’m trapped, how can I lie my way out of this, be calm, stay calm. I then tell her a short recollection of the story without the part where they get dragged down to hell and I get the powers of a demon. She says “Ok, but if you come into contact with-“ “-His parents will be the first to know.” I interrupt. She gets up and before she leaves my room, she tells me that she is so glad that I do not worry her and dad ever like my friends must do to theirs.

I waited a couple minutes and then I began to head downstairs. I see my dad in the living room watching a movie, I enter and see a bunch of guys stabbing a woman in the woods for a satanic ceremony. Déjà vu I think to myself. I then realize that the movie is Jennifer’s Body and I say under my breath “Oh GOD, I’m the new Jennifer.” My dad looks behind his couch and asks “You say something?” “Good morning.” I answer. “Oh, good morning Sarah.” He replies. I grab a breakfast bar from the pantry and tell my parents that I am going out to search for new project ideas for my work as a digital designer.

I grabbed a small notebook, a pair of scissors, and a mechanical pencil, I placed them in my bag and then I left for town. Around thirty minutes later, I arrive at the bank which was next to one of the openings that lead beneath the town. I go beneath the bridge and am overwhelmed by the smell of sewage; however, I proceeded further into the tunnel like enclosure I was in. When I could no longer see the light of day, I took a deep breath, closed my eyes, and all at once let all the negativity I was feeling overwhelm me. Each time I conjured up fire, it was when I was feeling the intense emotions of sorrow, worry, and pain. Knowing that, all the sadness, anger, regret, and pain I had, became the catalyst I needed for my powers to act through. I felt burning all over my arms, and once I let go of everything I was holding back, fire launched out from my palms in a fury similar to the blast of a firehose. I saw all the bats above my fly away in fear for safety. With my fires illuminating the room, I looked down in a puddle and saw my eyes changed to gold again. I think to myself, this power is not too hard to handle I guess; however, at that moment, the fire I shot out, came back and encircled my body. For some reason, it did not burn me or my clothes; however, that does not mean that the flames did not hurt. The emotions I released were running rampant throughout my mind making the fire grow and grow. I then raised my hands and prayed as I did in the shower. The flames died down and I said. “Okay, maybe it is a little harder than I expected.” Just then I here puddles splashing behind me. I saw light begin to illuminate the area and I turned hoping that both it was not cops, and that no one saw me using my powers.

I stand up straight and turn. It is two gross men. They were definitely drunk from the way they were stumbling. “Crud” I mutter as they stumble closer. One of them tried to say something; however, it came out all slurred, I believe he was trying to say “Hey you! What is such a beautiful women doing down here?” I felt disgusted by that comment and walked passed them. But, as I did, the guy next to him grabbed my arm, he was strong and had a good four inches on my five foot seven frame. I yell at him to "let me go!” He laughs and slurs “I love my women feisty!” he then leans in for a kiss and I think quick and kick him right in the groin. He lets go of my hand and falls to the ground. The other guy says something like “Hey not cool lady, you should be glad that we are trying to woe you.” Although, that is a much more intelligent way of interpreting the gibberish he was spilling out. I had enough, I was pissed of now and felt that anger channel through my system and into my hands. I quickly decided that no one will believe a nonsense story told by two drunks so as the big guy was getting up and the other tried to rush at me, I launched a fireball in their general area, it missed them only slightly; however, they were terrified. They immediately began to run out of the tunnel. I then saw the fireball returning to me and I think “Oh GOD not again!” But the image of those two terrified drunks running away made me so happy, it offset the negativity I was feeling causing the fireball to disappear.

It seemed like it takes negativity to create the fireballs, and positivity to negate them. This was a good start in my self training; however, I wondered what would happen if had another nightmare and created an inferno unconsciously. All these what ifs were flustering my mind and I just hurled another massive fireball further into the tunnel. Once I did this, I immediately felt relieved and the giant blaze did not return. I realized two things at that moment, one is that hurling fireballs is a great way to clear one's mind of anxiety, stress, and anger. The other was that a dream could not cause me to unintentionally use my powers. I thought that if the intense feelings I feel in dreams could cause my powers to activate, how come my room was not set ablaze when I received these powers as I was dreaming last night. This calmed me down and I was just about to resume my fire powers again when I was interrupted by my stomach growling. I exited the tunnels and entered one of the towns diners. I ordered a french toast, ate it, and then began to head back to where I just was.

I went back down to the tunnel and practice creating and and controlling my fires for the rest of the day. When the evening finally came around, I called my dad and told him that I had to go to the library to do some more research on my project. I was always on top of my assignments when in college so he believed me and replied “Okay, but don’t stay out too late.” I roll my eyes and tell him okay because of how cliche that advice was. I end the call and say “One power moderately under control, one more to go." I begin to head into the reservation, where it all began; however, unease began to overwhelm me which stopped me from proceeding.

I then decide that I should probably just head to the high school fields. Once there, I see a little league baseball game. I thought there goes my only other option to test my wings. Then I realized that there is another place I could test my powers. The ropes course next to the zoo and ice rink, I thought. I begin to head my destination when I pass the library on my way. I stop in front of it and two ideas pop into my head. The first being that my parents might check to see if I was actually in the library. The second being that If I could indeed hold the potential of flight, learning to do so would be like trying to use a new limb. So I walked into the library and checked out a few books involving aerodynamics, bird anatomy, and how birds fly.

Once checking them out, I headed to the ropes course to find it empty. Perfect, I thought. That is until the traffic on the road next to it revealed to me that I must go deeper through the course to remain unseen. I first took off my shirt and used the scissors to cut lines on its back, I place the shirt back on and cross my arms behind my back. My wings unfurl and luckily, they don’t rip my shirt because of the tears I just made.

I try to move my wings but they won’t budge. I then read about how birds learn to fly and see how they jump out of the nest when first ready to fly. I look up and get the bright idea of stealing a harness, hooking myself to the descending end of a zipline, and try to fly up. I stole the harness and gloves from the shed, jumped off of the platform, and all I got was a nasty tugging. I tried again, and again, but nothing worked. I then try jumping with a running start, I begin gliding upwards but then fall about a fourth of the way to the other side because my wings could not withstand the pressure. I try it again a few times and when I am half way through, I feel the wings begin to collapse from the strain; however, I pushed through and began contorting my back and I actually felt my wings flapping. I was about two thirds of the way to the other side when I could not take it anymore and lost control. I dropped and was ziplined back to the beginning. I then read about aerodynamics and understood that my center of gravity had to be balanced. I tried contorting my back a few more times and I was narrowly there; however my back began to succumb to the pressure again. I was too confident to fail again so I began moving my arms and legs as if I were in a pool and I made it. I ziplined back to the beginning and did this a couple more times. Each time, the pressure on my wings and back hurt less. Eventually, I decided that I should try doing that from the ground.

I am on the ground and begin to run; however, my wings were holding me back as if they were a parachute slowing down a racecar. I then retract my wings, run, jump, straighten my body so that it’s parallel to the ground, and finally cross my arms behind my back. I hit the ground a the first couple of times because my wings did not unfurl in time so I fell hard on the ground. Eventually, I deploy my wings at just the right time and right before I hit the ground, I begin to soar upwards and begins to glide in the air and fly. I then begin contorting my back and moving my arms and legs as if I was swimming and my wings begin to flap. I was through the air and it felt amazing, until I saw a tree in my path. I freaked out and turned my head so it would not get hit and my body moves to that direction. I figure out that my head is essentially a steering wheel in the sense that I turn it to change directions. After awhile, I want to get down and a terrifying realization made itself known. I taught myself how to fly; however, I failed to teach myself how to land before taking off. I began to lose control and am just freaking out. This caused me to fall.

Right before I hit the ground, my fear caused fire to envelop me and I turned into a gaseous form. The second that my smoke touched the ground, I returned to my human form. None of my clothes were burnt and I was still in one piece.

I breathed a huge sigh of relief and said to myself “Thank GOD that I just activated that new power or else I’d be a demonic pancake.” I decided that I had enough practice for one day and returned all the equipment I stole. I looked at my phone and saw it was nearly 7:15, nearly an hour and a half since I begin practicing my ability of flight. I place the books back in my bag and head home.

When I arrive, my parents and brother are eating baked ziti, my favorite. I ask if I can join them and they say that I do not even need to ask. I took a plate and pulled up a chair, then I dug in. After dinner, my dad asked how my project went. I told him that I had a few close calls where I nearly ruined the entire project; however, everything ended well. He then asked what the project was about and I responded “A couple of things actually, gothic designs and nature are my primary focuses.” I said this because that is was what happened in my day, exploring my gothic powers, and being in nature at night.

The night proceeds on like any normal night, I watch TV with my parents while my brother is in his room drawing. Eventually, my parents head upstairs and I shortly do the same. When in my room, I decide to make two cuts on many of my shirts so that my wings won’t ruin them. I then head to my bathroom to shower. I get in and immediately realize that the smell of all the blood that stained the walls the previous night was now completely gone thanks to the plug in air freshener. I then step into the shower and before turning the water on, I wanted to try something. I decided to think of my most emotional memories and as the fires begin to inflame my hands, I then imagine myself covered in fire. It works and the fire is coursing through my entire body; however, no pain is felt and no damage to my body occurs. Once covered, I imagined myself reconstructed into gaseous form. I closed my eyes and once opened, I lost all feeling in my body. I could move so I moved towards my mirror and saw a smokey human-like figure where I was supposed to be. I could see despite having no visible eyes. After awhile of just floating there, I imagined myself solid once more and I soon reverted back into my physical normal form.

I took my shower and thought to myself, “This stuff is getting easier and easier the more I work.” I then had the idea of becoming a super-heroine; however, after giving the idea some thought, I decided that that just was not me. I mean yeah, I love to help people and I do what is right most of the time. The problem with it was that one, I am basically a demon now and will terrify people, two the fact that I have powers will also terrify people, and three, this is reality, not a comic book. I will only use my powers when absolutely necessary, like if I’m attacked in a darkly lit area, or to keep warmth when it gets cold. I don’t know, I’m probably just overthinking this. I realize that my hands were pruning up so I got out.

After I dried off, I went to bed. I dreamt about how these powers were actually a blessing and not a curse and how I could use them. I awoke to a familiar feeling, Geno licking my nose. I opened my eyes and he froze with fear. I looked into his giant, cute puppy eyes and was able to see my blurry reflection. I also saw my eyes were a very bright color. "My eyes must be gold now" I thought. I then closed my eyes and reopened them and he immediately resumed licking me. After snuggling with him for a bit, I decided it was time to get up. After Geno left my room, I brushed my teeth and showered. I placed a random t-shirt on and felt weird due to it having two ripped lines on the back. After I was dressed, I ran downstairs to find no one there.

The sun was up and I was the only one downstairs in the morning, that's weird. I decided to make myself chocolate chip pancakes and then saw it was 7:26 in the morning. It was a Monday which must have meant that dad was in New York working, and mom and Cameron were sleeping. While eating my breakfast, I thought that it would be in my best interest to not practice my powers too often or else I'd make my parents suspicious of why I'm out of the house so often now. A while later and I am watching some TV when my mom walks down the stairs with her yoga equipment. She asks me if I want to join her and I tell her that I'm just going to relax today. She nods and leaves holding a coffee mug.

After watching TV for an hour and a half, I go downstairs and set up the Xbox and play a variety of shooting games. Once done, I check my phone to see that I have several messages from David's mom, Bryan's mom, and Derek's dad. They each said basically the same thing, "Hey Sarah, it's (insert name here's mom/dad) I have been trying to reach (insert name here) but he hasn't been responding. Do you have any idea where he is? I've tried to contact the other kids but they also have not gotten back to me. I'm just really worried, and because you were the only person that I know was with him the other night whose parents confirm you came home, I was wondering if you know where he is?"

I whisper “I don’t want this.” and decide not to respond, even though that action causes me to feel terrible. The memories of that night flood back into my mind and as I look down, I see a fireball forming into my hand. I feel the urge to throw it and almost do so, until I come to the realization that I am inside. The moment that dawned on me, I rushed straight into the basement bathroom and I dunked my hands into the toilet. I feel grossed out by the fact that I had just stuck my hands into a disgusting toilet. “Great, just great, I learn how to use my powers; however, my emotions are causing me to lose control of them.” I thought. If only my powers were as easy to handle as the heroes in my brother’s comic books, my troubles would be over. The stress from the situation caused heat to again build out of my palms and this time I rinsed them beneath the sink.

I began thinking of ways to combat my powers acting out at bad moments and I could only come up with two possible options. The first being to wear gloves filled with water which sounded incredibly dumb. The other was to practice meditation. Meditation sounded both cliche and probable. I spent a day training my powers, the next step is for me to train my mind.

It was not long long before I heard my brother stomping down the stairs with the force of an elephant. He saw me and asked where mom was. “Yoga.” I replied. He then asked “Do you want to hang out? I'm so bored!” I smirked and said “Okay, what do you want to do?” A gigantic smirk covered his face and he screamed “ICE SKATING!!” Ah, he is so pure and innocent. I answer him by telling him “Okay, let's go to the arena. Put on a sweatshirt and let's go.” We both race up the stairs and within a couple of minutes, we are in the garage. I began searching through the clutter on the side of the garage to find our ice skates. It didn't take long to find them in my old hockey bag. I texted our mom that we were going to be at the rink, and afterwards, we were off.

I navigated through the parking lot searching for a spot and eventually found one basically at the entrance to the zoo next to the rink. I chuckle under my breath remembering that just the previous night, I was just next to the zoo learning to fly. We entered the rink, I paid the skating fee, got our hands stamped, and I tied both of our skates. We then walked through the doors to the ice and skated around for a while and I lost trace of all the negativity cluttering my mind, I felt, for the first time since I tricked into performing that ritual, free. The cold air on my skin was a pleasant change from my now abnormally high body heat. Skating around also brought back many fond memories from when I was younger doing this exact thing with my family and friends, back when we were all as pure as Cameron is now. Ugh, what happened to us. I was brought back to reality when I crashed into the boards. I fell backwards and just laughed it off, Clumsy me.

Eventually, Cameron stated he was tired of skating so we skated off the ice and made it to a bench where I proceeded to take off our skates. I heard Cameron’s stomach growl and I told him “I'll by us a pizza at the snack bar while you play in the arcade okay?” He then asked for some money and I gave him ten bucks. I waited in line and eventually got our pizza. I called him over and he was holding three rubber duckies from the prize catching machine. I placed the pizza on the table and our skates beneath us and we dug in. I took out my phone and mom texted me back “K. Just call when your heading back.” When the last slice of pizza was eaten, I asked him “You ready to go home?” He replied “Can we play one more game?” I tussle his hair and say sure.

I entered the small arcade and he gestures me over to a two person racing game. It was like one of those arcade games with a motorcycle for the player to ride; however, they were shaped more like jet skies. It was a snow racing game where cold wind would blow in your face, and the vehicle you were on would tilt to your positioning and would also bump to simulate the actual game experience. We got on the two vehicles and started the game. He was player one and I was player two. The game started and I was, unsurprisingly, in dead last constantly crashing. After about maybe five minutes, the game was over. Cameron got second place while I got eighth place out of the ten bots the game had We soon left the rink, I threw the skates in the trunk, and texted mom that we were coming home.

As the days continued on, distancing me from the ‘incident', I found that limiting my power usage through meditation could only get me so far. It was a frustrating double edged sword, my powers would not take on a mind of their own; however, the more I resisted using them, the stronger my paranoia and anxiety became.

“My powers are going to consume me.” A thought that would not cease to pester my subconscious, followed by me questioning why this burden was forced on me. As I resumed my meditation, I realized a secondary issue that has been beginning to creep its way into the light. In addition to me attempting to control my powers, I have to continue living this lie that nothing is wrong with me. This denial is definitely influencing my behavior and keeping my secret, especially from my parents is no easy task. All the emotional, spiritual, and physical baggage my powers entail is stressing me out far too much and I knew that I was reaching my breaking point. Little did I know how true that was.

It was nearly one week since the ‘incident’ when it happened. It was early in the morning when I woke up to my mom shacking me. When I became lucid, she said with a shiver “S-Sarah, I need you to come downstairs with me. There are two detectives here who would like to have word with you.” She was choking up on the end of her sentence, but I knew, even in the drowsy state I was in that she was simply shocked at the fact they were there in our house rather than scared that I may have done something. I got up not even bothering to change out of my pajamas, I went downstairs already knowing why the detectives were here. I had been dreading it for a while now but there is nothing I can do to avoid it. Also, even though I knew it was coming, this knowledge did not prevent the icy chill overwhelming my fiery bones.

Soon I found myself following Mom out of my bedroom and down the stairs into the living room. That is when I saw them. Two police officers, both in uniform. I sat down on the couch in front of them. The cop on my left was female, young, well built, and had tan skin and piercing green eyes. The cop on my right was male, slightly middle age, tall, caucasian, had a beer gut, dark brown eyes, a five o’clock shadow and was balding. After I had a chance to observe the two, the female officer began talking,

“Good morning Ms. Jones.”

Her voice was kind but both her demeanor and the statement were ice cold. I uttered a “Good morning" back to her. The other one then spoke with a more friendly and sympathetic tone and said “My partner and I are here to discuss a few things with you if that is okay.” I responded with a nod and he continued, “We are the detectives that were assigned to investigate the disappearance of three individuals to whom we hear you were close with.”

I was internally screaming and spilling my guts out to them at that moment; however, I didn’t let it show, I couldn’t, they would think I’m either crazy or trying to piss them off. The most important thing I could do at that moment was to keep my composure as best I could and listen. I was in mid-thought when the deafening silence filled the room, he wanted me to respond. I took a breath and said "Yeah, I had a feeling that was why you were here.” Crap, that was so condescending, why did I say it like that, I can’t talk that way to a cop that is most likely investigating me. I then quickly continued on, possibly interrupting their next point by quickly saying “Sorry, that came out wrong!” The female cop then spoke with a chuckle “It’s fine, that’s actually the normal reaction we get, all it is is nerves.” The overall message was comforting but still her demeanor put me on edge. She then continued as if going from 0 to 100, “As you know, it has been nearly a week since your friends went missing. You don’t seem that distraught about that fact, surely you would be worried about the safety of your friends”.

There it is, the moment I was afraid of, they think I’m responsible, that I did something to my friends. I was tensing up and I felt the heat flowing. “No not now!” I screamed in my head. I then felt my Mom place her hand on my shoulder. She then spoke up, “You can’t possibly think my daughter has anything to do with their disappearance.” The women then gave me a cold stare and then looked up at my Mom. “All I am saying is that she doesn’t seem too bothered by us being here nor does she seem to exhibit any concern about her friends and where they are.” My Mom’s grip tightened then released as she took a small step towards the female officer, “This past week has been eating at my daughter, when news got out about her friends her entire mood changed she went from cheery to distant, this entire week she has been attempting to distract herself from the fact that her friends may be gone!”

Thank God my Mom was here or else things would have just gotten much worse. The fact that she knows her daughter did not harm her friends lessened the heat surrounding me and I could calm down for a bid to keep my powers in check. I saw that the female cop was gritting her teeth about to start a screening match with my Mom until her partner grabbed her arm and said “Relax, she is trying to cope in her own way.” At that she calmed down and I made a pleasant realization, this was not an interrogation. I breathed a sigh of relief and he spoke again “We have used most possible leads for this case, one remains however that we cannot ignore, you.” The statement did not match his tone at all, it should have been stated as a fact I should be concerned about in a serious tone, whereas it came across as just an average comment stated as if he were confused about what he was going to say next.

My heart started beating faster and faster and I was afraid that soon I would lose control. His partner continued on “We have to ask, what happened the night of the disappearance.” At that moment my body became completely paralyzed and my mind became erratic "I was wrong this is an interrogation! They do think I am responsible! Stay calm stay calm! Don’t lose control! This can’t be…" My mental breakdown was cut short when I heard my Mom. She said “Sarah are you okay? You don’t look to good.” She was more focused on me and the state I was in than the two detectives right in front of us. A true angel of a mother. Her concerned snapped me back and I said “I’m fine, thanks Mom.”